This is a great tool and can be particularly helpful when a conflict arises and you need to ‘think on your feet’, especially as it relates to individuals. It is also a valuable tool as you look at what individuals, organizations, and communities might need in order to support the work within and between movements or organizations.
B = Behavior (the way in which one acts or conducts themself, especially toward others)
E = Emotions/Feelings (emotions are event driven; feelings are learned behaviors that are usually in hibernation until triggered by an external event)
N = Need (something that is essential or important)
This is how you can use the BEN model:
Pay attention to the behavior or set of behaviors that you are witnessing.
Identify the emotion(s)/feeling(s) that may be behind the behavior(s)
Try to determine what need(s) you think are NOT being met.
Ask yourself - Can I/We meet these needs? If so, how? If not, why not?
Acknowledge to yourself and/or between the parties that there may be needs that are not being met. Discuss if there is a way to meet those needs, and if so, how? If not, why not?
Proceed wisely.
Here are examples of what people might feel like when...
NEEDS ARE BEING SATISFIED
Affectionate, Kind, Thoughtful
Engaged, Interested
Hopeful, In Awe, Inspired, Refreshed
Confident, Assured
Excited, Exhilarated, Joyful, Happy
Peaceful, Calm, Grateful
NEEDS ARE NOT BEING SATISFIED
Afraid, Fearful, Betrayed
Annoyed, Anxious, Embarrassed
Averse, Disconnected
Confused, Distracted
Angry, Hateful
Fatigued, Physical Pain, Tense
We all have a NEED for:
Connection: Love - Affection - Belonging - Equality - Respect - Meaning - Community - Consideration - Compassion - Purpose - Happiness
Safety: Physical & Emotional Security - Trust - Support - Stability - Less Suffering
