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Navigating Difficult Conversations

Navigating difficult conversations is something we’re all faced with at one point or another, but as a manager, it’s particularly important to have a well-equipped toolkit for handling them. This training outlines why some conversations are more difficult than others, skills you can acquire to handle them better, and tactical prompts and reactions to use in the moment to drive productive outcomes.
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Materials

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Navigating Difficult Conversations Training Deck
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Navigating Difficult Conversations Training (Recording)
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Content Overview

We recommend watching the training recording and reviewing the training materials in full, however a high-level summary of the content is also included below for your convenience.
Why are some conversations difficult?
We assign our own perceptions, interpretations, self-image, values and importance to our experiences. If we perceive something we value is at stake, this triggers uncomfortable emotions and stress. We are not well-practiced at communicating in times of high emotion. Most of all, these conversations tend to be about important things we care about — naturally emotions may run high!
How to communicate more effectively
Listen and acknowledge: Listen to an employee’s point of view and acknowledge and empathize with their perspective.
Be involved: Ask clarifying questions to better understand and define the situation. Involve the employee in coming up with a solution.
Support and be accountable: Provide support without commandeering the conversation.
Share: Be transparent, honest and authentic.
Having a difficult conversation
Some quick tips for difficult conversations:
Timely: Try to have the conversation as close to the incident as possible, so issues don’t grow over time.
Start with intent: Begin the conversation by stating your intent. Why are you having this conversation?
Use the SBI model: Use the
Situation, Behavior, Intent model
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for giving effective feedback
End with a check in: End the conversation by checking in to see how the conversation resonated. Has the person been able to share their perspective? Would they like more time to reflect?
Dealing with defensive reactions
If the person is...
Try this...
Angry
Maintain your composure
Let the person express their feelings
Paraphrase and reflect their feelings:
“I can see this is really bothering you.”
“You feel I’m being unfair.”
Demonstrate that you take the issue seriously.
“Of course this is an important issue to you”
“I’m not interested in blaming anyone. I’d really like this to be a constructive discussion where we come together to resolve the issue.”
Reschedule, if necessary.
“I’d like to give you time to reflect on this – let’s reschedule for tomorrow.”
Crying
Allow the person to vent while you are silent.
Offer person a “break” to regain composure.
“I sense this conversation is difficult for you. Would you like to stop for a few minutes?”
“It is important that we discuss this issue, but not when it’s so upsetting for you. Let’s take a break and talk about it when you are ready.”
Silent
Ask open-ended questions to prompt the person to talk.
“How is this landing with you?”
“What’s your reaction to what I’ve said?”
Comment on what is happening:
“I sense that you are upset. Am I right? Can you tell me what you’re feeling?”
“We seem to be at an impasse. What would you like to do now?”
If necessary, close and reschedule meeting.
“We don’t seem to be able to discuss this issue right now. It’s important we work together. What’s the best time to continue this discussion tomorrow?”
Denying
Ask what would it take to get to common ground:
“I can see we don’t agree on what happened. What would it take to try to resolve this?”
Stay focused on mutual purpose:
“What I don’t want is for our relationship to break down over this. What I do want is for you to be successful on this project/ in your role/ etc.”
There are no rows in this table
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Next Section:
Coming Soon: How to Talk About Career Development
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Previous Section:
Personal Operating Manuals
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