If you want your child to behave reverently at Mass, you must do it yourself. Just like that exaggerated whisper, “we have to be quiet because Mass is holy,” sometimes our actions need to make a similar exaggerated statement.

Pretend you are an altar server in training and make a conscious effort to sit very still, place your hands reverently, avoid looking around at your fellow parishioners or turning your head, and in every way try to direct your focus to the altar.

If you act as if this is the only way to behave, little ones will see and follow suit. Again, this is most effective when done with that slightly dramatic spirit of urgency. Make it difficult for your child to take your attention from Mass (but use those eyes in the back of your head to keep tabs!).

Most importantly, if you talk easily to your child during Mass, they will think they can chat, too.

Even a lecture about the importance of good behavior at Mass models poor mass behavior to a young child who cannot see the difference between your lecture and their dissertation on what they want for their birthday next year.

If you talk easily to your child during Mass, they will think they can chat, too.

If a child tries to engage you in a non-Mass related topic, shake your head, maybe frown a little.

Alternatively, you can smile, press your finger to your lips to indicate quiet, and then point towards the altar. Somehow, you must try your best to avoid speaking to most effectively model the importance of not speaking! Words are the last resort!

If you don’t have children or if your children are grown, you can still help by modeling appropriate Mass behavior. Turning your head to observe a family with a fidgeting child is only adding to the distraction. Quietly modeling attentiveness to the Mass and contributing your actions to the environment of mystery and holiness will be far more effective in helping parents train their children than staring or glaring ever could.

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`Use Your Hands, Not Your Words`⁠
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Next...Use Your Hands, Not Your Words⁠⁠

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