My husband and I are frequently complimented on the good behavior of our children. We are loath to put ourselves forward as model parents, but we are often asked for advice by younger families in our circles, particularly regarding behavior at Mass.

In our twenty years as parents and our time spent with our seven children attending Mass with regularity both at home and away, we have been approached by fellow parishioners and strangers alike. Obviously, this is usually a positive experience.

But as horrible as it must be to have someone confront you for your child’s poor behavior, I will let you in on a secret. People will find shocking ways to comment on your child’s good behavior as well.

People will find shocking ways to comment on your child’s good behavior as well.

We thought it was outrageous when strangers approached our children after church and greeted them with, “Do your parents drug you?” Then at another parish we visited, someone thought it would be hilarious to ask, “Do your parents beat you?”

How does one respond to this? Your guess is as good as mine. I have no recollection, probably because we were in shock and escaped as quickly as possible.

⁠

There is one response I do recall giving. We happened to visit a parish in our diocese the same morning that our bishop was filling in for the pastor.

It was one of those rare occasions where I thought of the right thing to say in the moment rather than days later. The bishop recognized us, though I don’t think he knew our names, and he noted the good behavior of our young boys and asked what our secret was. I said, “Practice.”

“Practice.”

And that sums up our strategy. We practice going to mass. During some seasons, we were able to attend daily Mass with some regularity. During others, it is mostly just Sunday. But our children go, and when they go, they practice paying attention in age appropriate ways.

⁠

Just like the mastery of any other skill, proper practice is essential. The principles of practice hold true. If you want to do something well, you must practice well.

Here, I hope to share some of the ways we have found to effectively instruct and reinforce suitable behavior at Mass.

We are in no way parenting experts. We only know what we have done and how our own children behave. Our oldest is only 20, so any claims of success would necessarily be quite limited.

I am inclined to believe, like with so much of parenting, there is a lot more grace at work than skill. But I won’t discount skill altogether.

If these strategies help you, I am so glad! I hope that sharing our experience is worthwhile for some.

If these strategies don’t work for you, God bless you for trying. Exposing our children to the sacrifice of the Mass and encouraging their participation is essential and can only be good.

It is hard no matter how you do it, but it is work well worth doing and can only bear good fruit in your life and the lives of your children.

The beautiful photographs throughout are provided by

a dear friend⁠

who specializes in photographing the Latin Mass in the extraordinary form. However, my hope is that my words will encourage families attending any form of the liturgy.

First...
`The Earliest Years`⁠
.

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Introduction

First...The Earliest Years⁠.

First...
`The Earliest Years`⁠
.