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This basically everything I didn't put in the treatment.
Writing an out line might be a bit of a mess. Basically I should merge all the scenes from the treatment and scenes from here (minus the ones I remove for cost)
I might have a Seanachai narrate the whole thing...think about pros and cons of this.
INT. SCENE TEMPLATE
Gen/Tonal/Purpose
Plot Beats
Lines
Act I - The bond
(NOT SURE THIS IS RELEVANT ANYMORE, AS I AM TELLING THE SEANACHAI STORY WHEN THEY ARE KIDS -
Maybe start with Bridget and Michael alone...establish that something is wrong and have jack interrupt it. When Jack arrives Michaels goes to fetch the cousins to hear Jacks stories. This is perhaps a better start from a character point of view but starting with a seanachi perforance)
Act I Misc Plot/Beats
* I think her Miscarriage could be a turning point, where he starts to resent her.
* Bridget starts smoking a pipe, like Michaels mother.
* I need to establish that they Bridget and Michael are soulmates, without having scenes be too “Hollywood”. Want to establish they are both outsiders in a way...Michael always wants to fit in. Bidget is more Defiant.
* Be nice to have Bridgets mums wake being marked with keening.
* I think Bridgets dad should knock her about a bit, maybe smack her on the arse, long past her being too old for that. Bridgets dad takes his frustration at his wife dying out on Bridget, but he’s really a weak fearful many. Michael should threaten her dad.
* The fact they think she’s a fairy is the first revelation..ie hide this from the audience until here. It's difficult to explain about fairy changing beliefs and still have this be a surprise. You could explain the fairy beliefs more generally.
* Michael walks in and shes laughing with another man -am I. Interrupting?) . Or something small. Just Michael, bridget and another man...and just a look on Michaels face.
* father finding out they are already married (which Father...Bridgets??)
* Needs to be a moment that really pisses Jack off...She belittles him. We hold camera on his face...since the Seanachai scene is happening earlier...perhaps its Bridgits mum who insults Jack and Jack hold the grudge at Bridget
* Jealousy: Michael sees her with another man, who turns out to be her cousin. Imply the cousin actually fancies Bridget...could do this “cousins kiss at the Ceili
* If we imply he suspects her of having an affair, and then she has a miscarriage and he looses it with her. He wants a child so he can be a better father.
[ ] I need to hint at Micks temper with Bridget
[ ] I need to move the first act along quite quickly, and get the mother passing away and them living with their father. Perhaps using VO of someone telling it like a story might be helpful. (Watch braveheart, see how they do it)
[ ] Maybe scene on the mothers deathbed where she asks Michael to look after them.
[ ] See them in Bed and the father comes in, maybe he doesnt knock.
Act I Misc Images
Maybe theres something in the idea or image of Michael sleeping alone on the floor beside the fire...maybe he has no bed at some point as a child. Just straw?
invert the male Gaze scene (like in scene in Casino)..where Bridget is staring at Michael
Seanachai should have blepharitis (chronic red eyes,) which were very common in ireland, and will make him look more intimidating
Act I Misc General/Tonal/Images
Act I Misc Character Ideas
I need to establish the fact that
Establish that there are lots of people present, except Michael. (this was for the original Seanachi scene that took placed after they were married..this was a character beat to show people were scared of Michael)..but I could use the core idea in Act II...to show why everyone complies...or use it to hatch a rebellion against Michael
The father could express that he doesnt like Michael him to bridget while kissing Michaels arse to his face.
Maybe I could establish Michael and Bridget as outsiders. Maybe Michael asks Bridget to come away with him to the Americas. She said she can't cos her parents are old. (her mum would have been still alive).
Perhaps the simpsons are here and Bridget dances with William..or does something to trigger jealosy.
(need a reason to do this.) I want us to think of Michael as her saviour and she as Michaels. They Save each other.
Father/Bridget -I could do worse -You could do better....Then Michael enters an the mood shifts.
Perhaps highllight the fact they were no longer living together and that Michael has returned. (This might be unessecary information )
Theres a scene in “Stand by me” with River Phoenix and another similar one with Michael Shannon in “The bikeriders” when they basically describe being rejected/outsiders. (Phoenix accused of stealing, Shannon is refused volunteering for Vietnam). I find them both very affecting.
Act I Misc Lines
“She's away with them..” (referring to Michaels mum.) (as opposed to away with the “fairies”) “ Away with who?” Says bridget...establish the fear around saying their name.
pishogues
she makes the profane sacred and the sacred profane.
Use the ‘whatever:everything it is…it’s a lie”..talking about the church vs Pagan beliefs?
Maybe have the first line be in the fairy doctor speaking in irish..make it feel foreign...then put onscreen “ireland 1895”
You’re mother went with the fairies.explore his relationship with mother.
I can remember things that never even happed - Jack Dunne.
-What would I do i you ever left me? Michael...needy/agressive or perhaps touching. he needs her more that she needs him.
Use ronnie Drew Line from Bridge...”I found it helps me mind me own fucking business” (Micks mum should say this. Maybe about her drinking)
Bridgets father (About Michael) And I said, he may be a blown in but he’s our blown in, I’m x years of age but I’ll bait the head a ya.
Line from Mick Explaing his shame of his family “People would say she’s left me…she’s away with them. but I know she never went away with them, ‘‘twas him that drove her to it’ (His mum was kind of a bully too??’)
Ai says this is an english bloke called Mark Stewart but he sounds American in the recording on Alabamba 5 record
**For whatever reason you refuse to feel this space we're in, to know its insanity, really know it; whatever your particular anesthetic is, that you hold onto so desperate (the thing, I mean, that makes you think you know who you are); whatever that thing is you allow to keeps you sane, your ace in the hole, the psyche that keeps you trying to guess what your pimp has in store for you; whatever keeps you from screaming out at this very moment in absolute and sheer horror; whatever you xxxx your brain with; whatever that is- whatever that is- it's a lie, it's a lie.**
From Bible: Wisdom of Solomon
For they reasoned unsoundly, saying to themselves,:Short and sorrowful is our life, and there is no remedy when a man comes to his end, and no one has been known to return from Hades.
Because we were born by mere chance, and hereafter we shall be as though we had never been; because the breath in our nostrils is smoke, and reason is a spark kindled by the beating of our hearts. 3 When it is extinguished, the body will turn to ashes, and the spirit will dissolve like empty air. 4 Our name will be forgotten in time and no one will remember our works; our life will pass away like the traces of a cloud, and be scattered like mist that is chased by the rays of the sun and overcome by its heat. 5 For our allotted time is the passing of a shadow, and there is no return from our death, because it is sealed up and no one turns back. 6 "Come, therefore, let us enjoy the good things that exist, and make use of the creation to the full as in youth. 7 Let us take our fill of costly wine and perfumes, and let no flower of spring pass by us. 8 Let us crown ourselves with rosebuds before they wither. 9 Let none of us fail to share in our revelry, everywhere let us leave signs of enjoyment, because this is our portion, and this our lot. 10 Let us oppress the righteous poor man; let us not spare the widow nor regard the gray hairs of the aged. 11 But let our might be our law of right, for what is weak proves itself to be useless. 12 "Let us lie in wait for the righteous man, because he is inconvenient to us and opposes our actions; he reproaches us for sins against the law, and accuses us of sins against our training. 13 He professes to have knowledge of God, and calls himself a child of the Lord. 14 He became to us a reproof of our thoughts; 15 the very sight of him is a burden to us, because his manner of life is unlike that of others, and his ways are strange. 16 We are considered by him as something base, and he avoids our ways as unclean; he calls the last end of the righteous happy, and boasts that God is his father. 17 Let us see if his words are true, and let us test what will happen at the end of his life; 18 for if the righteous man is God's son, he will help him, and will deliver him from the hand of his adversaries. 19 Let us test him with insult and torture, that we may find out how gentle he is, and make trial of his forbearance. 20 Let us condemn him to a shameful death, for, according to what he says, he will be protected."
Relationship Threads
Act II The Knot
Act II Misc Plot/Beats
Act II Misc Images
Act II Misc General/Tonal/Images
Each of her Allies turning against her..being convinced shes a changing
Act II Misc Character Ideas
Act II Misc Lines
I want someone to imply the Priest is Just a Jackeen.
“Maybe the thing believes she is bridget”
Someone imply that Simpson “took the soup”
They should use “It” not “her”
“Soft talk” - superficial charm or persuasion
That wasn't my wife, she’s 2 inches taller...(I should have established his insecurity about his height earlier) have him be smaller than Bridget ...maybe she has a derogatory name for him. Establish chip on his shoulders about his height.
He says “Well gave in to me awful fast”, (slept with him) she smacks him in the face. Well I wouldn't remember that, being a fairy.
I have an image of the smile dying away from someones face as they realise Michael is serious about his wife being a changeling
Shes lost her mind/Shes not the only one. (Doubter)
INT. CLEARYS’ BEDROOM - DAY Wednesday March 13th-
= This could be exposition, or even a set up For Mary Starting to think shes a changling.
Aunt:
Told her Aunt Mary Kennedy, her father's sister: "He's making a fairy of me now, and an emergency [accusing her of being a fairy changeling] . . . He thought to burn me about three months ago . . (I’m not quite sure what to make of this, other than it does imply he was crazy/abusive)
Mary must dismiss this. “The fever is twisting her head”
Doctor
INT. CLEARYS’ BEDROOM - DAY
(Doctor complaining about the herbs may not fit with the timeline..ie actual order of events..but i didnt mention that he hasnt got the proper cure yet). Not he gave her an earlier dose of herbs he got from a woman.
INT. CLEARYS’ BEDROOM Last Rites
= This would could be a dramatic scene. Escalates sense of fear/Dread
Gen/Tonal/Purpose
Father Con Ryan arrived, he stayed for just 20 minutes, and by giving her the last rites, appeared to be giving her up for dead. Maybe he mentions that the Doctor is a protestant?
Plot Beats
Lines
She could be totally delusional with Fever. “Am I Dead?”
INT. “SHE” DOCTOR DENIS GANEYS COTTAGE - NIGHT
Gen/Tonal/Purpose
Plot Beats
Lines
“What cant the doctor do for you? And our Jackeen, with Jackeen cure. We have our own cures.”
INT.
Could use a woman?...there are interesting costumes (See Ann O’Toole), seems bit much ti deviate from reality just for the outfit.
Would it be too over the top if he was blind?
Denis needs to really scare him. Theres an oral version of this after the maps section in “The burning..”
Could have Michael visit Denis, and Denis reaffirm the urgency of acting. Also Denis could imply that he knew that Michaels father died or just say “D’yo think that’s a coincidence”. So have Michael think “That creature killed my father?”
‘the nine cures in it’ to be administered to the patient, mixed in new milk. This cure was a standard one in cases of changelings and was designed to restore the real individual
INT. CLEARYS’ BEDROOM TOM AND DAVID HOGAN (Drop this)
'If I had Tom Smyth and David Hogan, they'd settle what's between me and Mick.'- Bridget. They seem to have come and done nothing. Might make a scene of her disappointment. Although it might be better to merge them with the characters of her cousins who dont just fail to help Bridget but actually hold her down.
INT. CLEARYS’ BEDROOM DAY/NIGHT The cure
Make a fuss of the “countdown to midnight”
Jack Dunne and her cousins Patrick, James, and William were holding a weak and distressed Bridget Cleary on the bed. Bridget’s aunt, Mary Kennedy waited nervously by the door Blessing herself.
Then Cleary drenched her several times with urine and after the third dose of herbs, with Bridget "screaming terribly", she was shaken back and forth while they shouted: "Away with you; come home, Bridget Boland, in the name of God!"
(Not sure if this was still thursday)
They put a clean night dress back on.
(Within cure scene )William and Minnie Simpson interrupt,
(Have this happen at the peak of violence)..maybe after they enter they stop and dress her for bed.
the men inside were forcing the third dose of herbal mixture into Bridget. Simpson explained he had arrived as the four men were restraining Bridget, and he had asked them to leave her alone. (Simpson may have been her lover)
Have everyone there almost work into a collective. frenzy, calling to the fairies and almost loosing their mind,
INT. CLEARYS’ BEDROOM DAY/NIGHT Questions must be answered
Eventually, she was borne to where a low fire was burning and held above the bars of the grate. They asked her again: "Are you the daughter of Patrick Boland, wife of Michael Cleary? Answer in the name of God". "I am, Dada," she said to her father. After about 10 minutes they carried her back to bed. The midnight deadline passed - the time, by which, according to fairy lore, questions had to be answered.
Image of her screaming and them stepping back in fear.
“Did you hear that ungodly howl”... (they are talking as if she isnt there.)
“I am dada...dont you know its me” - Don't listen to her Tricks Pat!
INT. CLEARYS’ KITCHEN DAY/NIGHT Michaels father
= This is an escalation in tension. Also a character beat of Michaels escalating inner anger. Have him do something wild after he’s alone. Like punch a wall or cut himself.
DIRECTION: Michael standing up and acting busy, after he is told of his father works better if he is standing but still, at the start of the scene.
Want Michaels reaction to this to be understated but like he is holding back an ocean inside. Also I want to put across how much the Irish bury things, emotionally.
He is told his father died. He just stands up and offers people tea. Mick...are you all right? Michael...Michaelc....(sound fades.)
Thursday morning, Michael Cleary set off to Denis Ganey's for the herbs. That evening, he was showing signs of strain. He was exhausted, had had a row with the doctor, the priest was refusing to come again, Bridget was still sick and, to cap it all, word came that his father had just died over in Killenaule. As the house filled up with people, he heated up the herbs with "new milk"
Act III The Fire
Act III Misc Plot/Beats
Act III Misc Images
Act III Misc General/Tonal/Images
She never confess to being a changeling but there must be a moment where she calls them all out in a rage.
Demenes them all....her father for being weak....her cousin for making a pass at it her
I want to point the finger at the audience and say “you are complicit”
Act III Misc Character Ideas
Michael must look more deranged. Ending up like Daniel Planinview in the last scene of “There will be blood”
Act III Misc Lines
INT. CLEARYS KITCHEN Mum Visits Michael
=
“Didnt see you at your fathers wake?”
“What else were we going to Eat Michael?” - explaining the rabbit.
[[Beat]]
Fairies- beat where Michael reverts to subservience to his mum
I’d be shaking with the hunger - Michael
“You don’t know Hunger, your haven't seen it. - Mother
“Didnt I watch me own mother eat the weeds to give us suck”
Have ever eaten rotten spuds Michael? Hoping whatever you don’t throw up might be enough to keep you alive.
Fairy- maybe a scene with Michael’s mother. Where she cares for Bridget. Bridget tells mother ‘they are making a fairy of me now’. Ah sure they used to say I went away with them. Mother mocks Michael and tells him his father is dead...she tells bridget she went away with them for two days (sarcastically)
INT. CLEARYS BEDROOM Friday March 14th - Mum Visits Bridget
Maybe this scene could just be Michaels mum visits?
I need to give a glimmer of hope. This should be mostly one big scene.
Calm...then escalate.
You had a terrible fever...I suppose my dreams are burning me now?
(Portray that she is terrified of saying the wrong things)
Bridget was dressed and brought to the kitchen. At that time, Johanna, (Cousin) her mother Mary Kennedy, Bridget’s father Pat Boland and Johanna’s brother Pat Kennedy, were sat, talking.
Think what the turning point is.- think its the mother comment
Anything I can do to bring back my child I’d do.
Leave her burning in the fire.
Bridget admits that she is a fairy?
Play the marriage vows ‘the have and to hold. over the image of her burning
Jump scare as she is burned: then:
Flash back of famine?
On a black screen. No music. Bridget Cleary:
Flash back of famine.
after he kills her, have a moment of sympathy where he shows how much he misses her..this could be a callback to something from their early romance.
Epilogues: Fairy Ring.
he said, referring to the traditional expectation that once the changeling died, the abducted loved one would return, riding a white horse.
The reporter adds that the delivery of this line caused a “sensation” in the courtroom.
“She was burning on the hearth. The house was full of smoke and smell,” said Johanna in her testimony. “When I looked down to the kitchen, I saw the remains of Bridget Cleary on the floor, lying on a sheet.”
Pat Kennedy helped carry the remains from the house. Bridget’s burnt body was later discovered in a shallow grave nearby
Perhaps this scene, wouldn't go well straight after the burning scene. Perhaps it makes a point thats already been made (ie he believes it or makes himself believe it). However I don’t want to end it at the burning scene. There are other scenes...like burying her or the court case
Michael is arrested sitting in the snow at the fairy ring.
He is mumbling to himself. Police gather behind him.
As he is dragged off he blames the police for not allowing Bridget to return
EXT. FIELD - NIGHT
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