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1-1s: Your secret weapon of retaining talent

How to make the most out of your 1-1s and build strong relationships with your employees

People don’t leave jobs they leave managers

I have worked in the software industry at companies like Microsoft, Google, and Coda for more than two decades, roughly half of them as an IC and the other half in leadership positions. As a leader, one of my top priorities has been to keep my team motivated, engaged and making sure I retain my best people. One of the things I learned early on is - People don’t leave jobs, they leave managers.

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1-1s: The Key to Building Strong Manager-Employee Relationships

I am Himanshu. 👋 I am the head of Core product engineering at Coda. Throughout my career I have had the luxury of working with some of the managers I have fond memories with, and then some not as much. I have also had the benefit of being manager and trying to do for my employees what I wished my manager had done for me. Through my mistakes and learnings I built this template on how to make the most out of 1-1s with your employee and using it as a way to build a strong relationship. I would love to hear your feedback as you read through it and try it out. You can find me on

linkedin⁠

Coda⁠

, and at

email⁠

While there is a lot that you will likely cover in a 1-1, I strongly recommend making proactive time and space for the following

Set clear expectations and update them regularly - One of the most important thing you can do as a manager to help your employees succeed, is to set very clear expectations with them on what success looks like for you. And once these are set, it is important to make sure we periodically update them to keep them relevant. I like to take an approach that typically looks like the following

In my first 1-1 with them I will set expectations for an initial period. For employees that are new to the company this could be as small as for the first two weeks, and for employees that have been in the company for a long time and are just going through a manager change this could be for up to six months

Update the expectations as the time period they were set for is coming to an end. I never set expectations for more than a full year so at the very least we would update this every year. I typically revisit these every six months.

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Shared expectations⁠

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Provide a clear framework for career growth and provide the support they need - While some employees are naturally proactive, many overlook this crucial aspect. Yet, it's one of the most vital actions for ensuring long-term retention, satisfaction, and happiness. When executed properly, it boosts employee motivation, engagement, and connection. Plus, as a manager, it gives you a deeper insight into your employees' aspirations—a true win-win.

Throughout my career, I've experimented with various approaches to guide employees on career growth. A common pitfall is centering this conversation around climbing the next rung of the company's career ladder. However, it's essential to shift the focus from just advancing career levels to discovering the type of work they truly enjoy and want to pursue.

To facilitate this, I've created a template that helps employees structure their thoughts. I encourage them to think about their goals for the next 5-10 years first, then narrow it down to the next 12 months. We then discuss these ambitions together and identify opportunities I can create to align with their 12-month goals. My aim is to have this conversation at least once a year.

Career discussion⁠

page has the structure I have come up with over the course of my career.

Continuous feedback loop to celebrate wins and share constructive feedback - An essential component of effective management is establishing a continuous feedback loop. Regularly celebrating wins and sharing constructive feedback fosters a culture of recognition and improvement. When employees feel their efforts are acknowledged, they are more motivated and engaged. Constructive feedback, on the other hand, provides them with the guidance needed to grow and excel in their roles.

In my experience, the most effective way to maintain this feedback loop is through consistent and meaningful interactions. During our 1-1s, I dedicate time to recognize specific accomplishments and discuss areas where the employee has excelled. This not only boosts morale but also reinforces positive behaviors and outcomes.

Equally important is creating a safe space for constructive feedback. I ensure that feedback is specific, actionable, and delivered with the intent to support and develop the employee. By focusing on behaviors and outcomes rather than personal attributes, I help employees understand how they can improve and succeed. To keep the feedback loop dynamic, I encourage employees to share their own thoughts and feedback on how I can better support them. This two-way communication builds trust and ensures that feedback is not just top-down but a collaborative effort aimed at continuous improvement.

A tactical thing I do to make it easy to have the discussion in context of the work they have recently done is that I setup the 1-1 docs to automatically fetch the github PRs they have either worked on, or reviewed since the last time we met. We then periodically look at this information with the lens of building shared understanding and talking through any tricky issues that impeded progress. This is an approach that is most beneficial for IC engineers who are new to the company or earlier in their career, or may be going through a challenging phase.

This template provides a structure that makes it simple to accomplish these. Follow the instructions on

Getting started with this doc⁠

to get going.

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