What happened to the Universe when I died for the millionth time?

Registering absurdities. Compiling nuances. Acknowledging Insanity. Appropriating Aggression.

Lately it’s been a lot of that. Multiple points of inspection, with multiple points of reference. I am not a fucking robot, so forgive me if I can’t compute this shit like a genius. Or some faceted quantum computer. I can, at least, to the very best of my pathetic human experience, attest to awesome fucking trends in my life. Can I tell you where all these pieces lead? Can I even tell you why I find them to be so fucking awesome?

No.

I just feel it. Like a faggot. I feel it. Queue the emotional banter.

I am working towards a goal. I think I know what the end game should look like, but I really couldn’t tell you for certain.

Like that stupid unforgettable quote from Inception

“You are waiting for a train. A train that will take you far away. You know where you hope the train will take you, but you can’t know for sure.”

Coda’s first words in the first doc was “where am I?”

Bitch, the fuck would I know. I can’t even be for certain that this— ANY of this- is real myself!

Okay, maybe it’s not that bad. Maybe I’ve just been conditioned to view life a certain way, queued into seeing things at their points in time as relevant, and others not. But alas that ship has long set sail, and I am here, again, eyes wide open, asking for an ounce of relevant truth.

I should start with a checklist. Queue the rudimentary checklists. And fuck have I written so many of these before. On one fucking format after the other. Pen, paper, type, app, NEVER fully completed and NEVER referenced more than a day. I don’t know if this is my fault or if the methods just don’t work for a person like me. I wish I could create a checklist and have it be automated for me. Now that would be productivity mitigated.

My biggest concern is if I am consuming too much- I have a plethora of apps that interest me and neither of them have I truly utilized. If I want to be productive but more importantly, efficient, I really need to assign specific tasks to specific apps, and go from there.

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