Dealing with Unmet Needs
repression / over-investment / subordination
In our journey of adapting to the world, we quickly feel the need to end the pain caused by unmet basic needs. This pain is amplified by intense, uncomfortable emotions:
Grief or Shame when the need for connection is unmet
Anxiety or Fear when the need for security is unmet
Resentment or Irritation when the need for satisfaction is unmet
As children, we prioritize how we handle these emotions based on our perceived ability to regulate them:
Repression: We repress the emotion that seems overwhelming and too painful to handle.
Over-investment: We over-invest in regulating the emotion for which we feel most sensitive and capable.
Subordination: We defer dealing with the emotion that seems less challenging, subordinating it to our efforts in managing the others.
The Role of the fourth Intelligence
Leading to a more integrated Self
from a triangle to a pyramid
The model evolves from a triangle to a pyramid when the fourth intelligence is activated within us: intuitive intelligence. It guides us in balancing and integrating the relational, cognitive, and kinesthetic aspects of ourselves.
By incorporating intuition, we can harmonise our strategies to better connect, understand, and act. This balance transforms the triangle into an evolving pyramid, where intuition stabilises and optimises the resources of the other three intelligences, leading to a more holistic and integrated Self.