Aging/ailing parent

Sandwich generation, anyone? From managing medications, meals, and doctors’ appointments to making visiting a priority, caring for an aging/ailing parent can be all-consuming, not to mention the emotional challenge of this inevitable but often unexpected new caregiver role. Even if you outsource some of the work or can afford in-home or assisted-living support, holding this card requires all the love in your heart and a good chunk of your time.

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💃 Wild

Death

As if the loss of a loved one isn’t unbearable enough, there are also many important items of business requiring your time, including arranging a funeral, a shiva or other spiritual or religious rituals, and then acknowledging those who paid their respects. If handling any will or estate issues and packing up your loved one’s home and belongings are your responsibilities, prepare to be holding this card for quite some time.

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💃 Wild

First year of infant's life

Unsettled hormones, sleep deprivation, and a ravaged body are enough to make this a Wild card, not to mention that your time has all but disappeared. The days of having even a consecutive two-hour stretch of time to be productive are a vague memory as you drown in nursing/feeding, diaper changing, comforting your baby around the clock, and an innumerable amount of other to-dos all courtesy of your bundle of joy. Make no mistake: The first year of an infant’s life is not only a “Mom thing.” There’s plenty for Dad to do, too. While you’re trying to survive another day, let him dig into the Daily Grind cards: “laundry,” “dishes,” “garbage,” “groceries,” and taking the lead on “meals (weekday dinner).”

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💃 Wild

Glitch in the matrix / daily disruption

#DEFINITION The last thing in the world you have time for is dealing with the unexpected disruption of a fender bender, a computer virus, a flooded basement . . . or having the phone ring and seeing the dreaded school phone number. Your child has lice . . . can you come pick her up? You don’t get a vote when a Wild card lands in your lap, but you do get to ask for a helping hand from your partner when a daily disruption torpedoes your day. Remember: Leaving work early because of X, Y, or Z is not “on you” unless you currently hold this card. #GLITCH IN THE MATRIX / DAILY DISRUPTION The Wild suit includes life-changing scenarios that rock your world, and come with a mind-numbing amount of invisible work. When you’re dealt a Wild card (hopefully temporarily), you’re entitled to ask for additional help from your partner guilt-free. Your partner is encouraged to reach out to your village for even more support, but the Wild cardholder is not the one who handles this delegation. You and your partner are also encouraged to remove cards from your deck, temporarily, while dealing with a Wild card. #MINIMUM STANDARD OF CARE Do you feel supported to take the lead on this wildcard? Will your partner be stepping up to take on other cards?

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💃 Wild

Home renovation

Wild cards fall on a spectrum in terms of how life-altering and time-consuming the predicament can be. Obviously installing new toilets or kitchen cabinets is not as serious an endeavor as keeping your newborn nourished or managing a parent’s chemotherapy schedule. Still, it sure would be nice to have a working toilet and a functional kitchen, so someone’s got to do the work to make that happen.

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💃 Wild

Serious illness

#DEFINITION When a child falls ill, the implications can be life changing. If you are managing someone else’s illness, it can require hours of research, doctors’ appointments, treatment plans, and medication monitoring. Thankfully, you can ask your partner to step in and support you. If, however, it’s you or your spouse who is ill, the healthier person may need to take on more cards in addition to holding this Wild card. Rather than allowing resentment or fear to build, ask for what you need and re-deal as circumstances change. #SERIOUS ILLNESS The Wild suit includes life-changing scenarios that rock your world, and come with a mind-numbing amount of invisible work. When you’re dealt a Wild card (hopefully temporarily), you’re entitled to ask for additional help from your partner guilt-free. Your partner is encouraged to reach out to your village for even more support, but the Wild cardholder is not the one who handles this delegation. You and your partner are also encouraged to remove cards from your deck, temporarily, while dealing with a Wild card. #MINIMUM STANDARD OF CARE Do you feel supported to take the lead on this wildcard? Will your partner be stepping up to take on other cards?

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💃 Wild

Job loss & money problems

Serious financial issues like unemployment or bankruptcy require heavy lifting that may include networking, job interviews, court appearances, and many other time-sucking items of business. Of course you’re both impacted by the stressful issue at hand, but this cardholder takes the lead on resolving it while consulting with the “money manager” so your family’s budget can be modified accordingly.

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💃 Wild

Moving

There’s a reason why moving is typically on the Top 10 list of hellish events; it can be as stressful as the death of a loved one, divorce, or unemployment. The process of purging, packing, relocating, organizing, storing, and living in disarray is all-consuming, disruptive to your family’s routines, and basically upends your life. Good news: It’s temporary. Bad news: It’s a CPE doozy. Who is better equipped to take the lead?

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💃 Wild

New job

When you start a new job, you bring your A game daily, which may mean being the first one in, the last one to leave, working weekends, and doing whatever it takes to make an impression. Ask your partner to step up to the plate by taking some of your household and childcare cards while you concentrate on knocking it out of the park at work.

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💃 Wild

Welcoming a child into the home

Never mind how often you’re puking and falling asleep on the couch by 6 p.m. Preparing for a baby increases your mental, physical, and emotional load exponentially. While you’re going to constant doctors’ appointments, registering for baby products that you never even knew existed (a Boppy pillow?) or that you would need (Nursing bras?), and listening to unwanted parenting advice from every other woman shopping in the baby basics aisle, ask your more hormonally balanced partner to take some additional cards. Ask him to hold on to them while you’re in labor because, um, you’re in labor. And while he’s at it, he may just as well hold on to them while you recover from giving birth.

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💃 Wild

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