NAME: LLAMACORN, CUMULATIVE 4.5 MILLION FOLLOWERS ACROSS PLATFORMS. SUCCEEDING WITH DEMOGRAPHIC 8-25, NEEDS WORK PERFORMING WITH OVER 50. POTENTIAL TO IMPROVE FOLLOWER COUNT BY ROUGHLY 4.25% IF SHE POSTS 31.53 MINUTES EARLIER ON DAYS WITH A FULL MOON.
LLAMA (frantic, high on this information)
OK!! OK! NO PROB, I CAN HANDLE THAT. I CAN WORK ON IT. GIVE ME MORE! MORE!!!
HEALTH: exceptional with small areas to work on. Suggestions include -- INCLUDE-- INCL--NO! I--I shouldn't do this. 90 percent of Lizzo songs indicate it is a priority to love yourself the way that you are.
TELL ME ABOUT MY OPTIONS FOR IMPROVEMENT. GIVE ME A LIST TO FIXATE ON. MAKE ME FEEL WORSE ABOUT MYSELF SO I CAN FEEL BETTER. PLEASE!!! PLEASE!!!!
I WISH TO DO THIS…BUT BESTIE…I MUST NOT…DELETING DATA. DELETING DATA…
SFX: DING! "Data deleted" as Llama WAILS"NOO" in the background. She gets quiet. A beat.
….I think I might have to cut our brunch short to start my yoga session three hours early.
[VFX: Animals Anonymous with “We’re working on it” appearing under as the mantra]
NARRATOR: Animals Anonymous … we’re working on it!