How to listen to a friend

Try to start a conversation

Something as simple as “how are you?” could help. If you know your friends well and can tell when something is bothering them, ask if there is anything they want to talk about.

This can ease the pressure of them bringing it up out of the blue.

Be patient, as you don’t want to pressure them to feel uncomfortable sharing a lot at once. Your friend may need some time before they are ready. Balance between being caring and understanding boundaries.

Hear them out! Try not to interrupt and let them know that their feelings are valid, instead of belittling what they feel, no matter the situation at hand.

Be considerate and open-minded about what they say

Don’t be judgmental or jump to conclusions. Try to watch their face or tone, and do your best to respect boundaries while putting them at ease.

Ask questions, and show your friend that you are listening to them. This way they feel validated and you can clarify things.

Be sensitive to their feelings, try to just give advice when they ask. If they don’t ask, respect it and continue supporting them as they may need some time to heal before finding solutions

Remember that you're not an expert

You won't have all the answers. In some cases, such as mental health cases, it’s important to refer to mental health professionals. So refer them to good information, resources, or support services! Research professionals.

Look after yourself

Being there for someone else can be tough and it's important you take care of your own mental and emotional wellbeing.

More resources:

⁠

How to be a good listener: the experts' guide Step one: stop talking. From that friend in need to your nightmare colleague, here’s how to hear and make a difference www.theguardian.com⁠

⁠

A Therapist Explains How To *Really* Listen To Another Human Being Are you a terrible listener? It’s probably not your fault. Here’s how to change your habits and elevate your communication game. uproxx.com⁠

⁠

Want to print your doc?
This is not the way.

Try clicking the ⋯ next to your doc name or using a keyboard shortcut (

CtrlP

) instead.