My experience going on a 10-day Silent Meditation Retreat

In the summer of 2018, as I transitioned into my junior year at Boston University, I embarked on a transformative journey that would profoundly shape my understanding of mindfulness and meditation. This was not a journey across continents or cultures, but rather an exploration into the depths of my own mind through a 10-day Silent Vipassana Meditation Retreat. Organized by

Dhamma.org⁠

, under the guidance of physically-present teachers as well as video of its late founder, S.N. Goenka, this retreat promised an intensive plunge into the practice of Vipassana, one of India's most ancient techniques of meditation.

The organization has centers all over the world, and all of their retreats are free, only financed by the donations of students that have experienced them. The retreat I attended was held at Dhamma Dhara, Dhamma's center nestled in the serene landscapes of Shelburne Falls, Massachusetts. This decision came after plans to attend a similar retreat in Delaware with a friend fell through. Despite the change in location, my curiosity and eagerness to delve deeper into meditation remained steadfast. Having practiced meditation sporadically over the years, I viewed this retreat as an opportunity to commit to the practice more seriously.

Vipassana retreats are known for their rigorous schedule, requiring participants to meditate for approximately ten hours each day. The daily routine begins early in the morning and includes periods of sitting meditation - in groups and alone - with short breaks in between for meals and rest. The entire retreat is conducted in silence, a rule that extends to the avoidance of eye contact and gestures, creating an environment conducive to introspection and self-discovery.

I was nervous upon arrival at Dhamma Dhara. The prospect of spending ten days in silence, coupled with the intense meditation schedule, was daunting. I wondered how the experience would impact my psyche, especially since I did not anticipate struggling with the silence itself. The first three days were indeed challenging. The practice of Annapana, focusing on the breath to develop concentration, was frequently interrupted by my restless mind and the physical discomfort of prolonged sitting. The meditation teacher emphasized the importance of cultivating 'equanimity and awareness' in every moment, a concept that initially seemed elusive.

However, as the days progressed, I began to notice a significant shift in my mental state. The distractions and discomforts that had once seemed insurmountable began to fade, making way for moments of profound clarity and tranquility. These states of heightened awareness were accompanied by a deep acceptance of the present moment, transforming my perceived 'problems' into mere figments of my imagination. The realization that everything was inherently perfect and beautiful was both liberating and exhilarating.

By the end of the retreat, the notion of returning to the noise and distractions of the outside world was bittersweet. The silence that had enveloped my days had become a source of strength and insight, making the transition back to verbal communication an odd, albeit manageable, adjustment. Reflecting on the experience, it was evident that the ten days had provided me with invaluable insights into my mind and the nature of reality, insights that I was eager to continue exploring.

My 10-day silent retreat at Dhamma Dhara was a journey of profound personal growth and self-discovery. It challenged me to confront and transcend my limitations, fostering a sense of peace and equanimity that I try to sustain to this day. The experience was a testament to the transformative power of silence and meditation, and it has instilled in me a deep desire to do another retreat someday. The lessons learned and the states of mind achieved during those ten days have been integral to my life, serving as a constant reminder of the beauty and impermanence of the present moment.

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