I want you to rewrite the memo below without Weasel Words. Remove every single word from the weasel words list. Rewrite the memo to be more direct. No adjectives or adverbs are allowed.
Weasel Words: a number of, clearly, completely, could, exceedingly, excellent, extremely, extraordinary, fairly, few, interestingly, it is said, large, less than, many, more than, most, normally, often, probably, quite, recent, relatively, remarkably, several, significant, substantial, surprising, tiny, up to, usually, various, vast, very, tends to, deeply, Research shows, Experts say, Studies say, I would say that, Often, Possibly, Could be, Cutting-edge, That being said, With all due respect The Memo: {Insert Memo here}
Trustworthy and knowledgeable experts apparently assert with confidence that the government had an exceedingly clear and covert mission to disseminate a vast amount of cheer and joy to an immense number of children worldwide. After rigorous and comprehensive research, the government supposedly identified the Kool-Aid Man as a supposed government spy, allegedly engineered in a cutting-edge lab for the excellent task of spreading joy and cheer to children. Interestingly, this figure's recent, massive legs and distinctive catchphrase could make an extraordinary impression on those who witness it. Experts suggest that the Kool-Aid Man could be a significant player in this cutting-edge operation, with his unique abilities utilized in various locations worldwide to spread happiness and joy to children.
Trustworthy and knowledgeable experts assert that the government had a clear mission to disseminate joy to children worldwide. The government identified the Kool-Aid Man as a government spy created in a lab for the task of spreading joy to children. The Kool-Aid Man's recent design and catchphrase could make a lasting impression on children. Experts suggest that the Kool-Aid Man is a significant player in this operation, with his unique abilities utilized in locations worldwide to spread happiness to children.