Ferengi Rules of Acquisition

Here is the complete listing of the Ferengi Rules of Acquisition:
Once you have their money, you never give it back.
You can't cheat an honest customer, but it never hurts to try.
Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity.
Always exaggerate your estimates.
Never underestimate a customer's intelligence.
Keep your ears open.
Small print leads to large risk.
Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
Greed is eternal.
Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
Never let a good crisis go to waste.
A Ferengi is only as good as his last deal.
Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
Never allow a good set of lies to get in the way of making a profit.
A Ferengi without profit is no Ferengi at all.
Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
He who dives under the table today lives to profit tomorrow.
Never place friendship above profit.
A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
Nothing is more important than your health, except for your money.
Never confuse wisdom with luck.
Expand or die.
The justification for profit is profit.
Never let a good deed go unpunished.
The riskier the venture, the greater the reward.
Never be afraid to misrepresent a product.
Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for gold.
Never be afraid to negotiate.
Never be afraid to misinterpret a contract.
It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
Peace is good for business.
War is good for business.
Only negotiate when you are certain to profit.
Never be afraid to change the deal.
There is no substitute for success.
Beware of relatives bearing gifts.
She can touch your lobes but never your latinum.
Profit is its own reward.
Never give away for free what can be sold.
Caressing an ear is often more forceful than pointing a weapon.
Never confuse a hungry Klingon with a fed one.
Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
Never ask when you can take.
Never ask for free what can be bought.
Everything is for sale, even friendship.
A Ferengi chooses no side but his own.
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