also, if you know what are deal breakers for you, I find it useful to share the list at the beginning of the relationship
this may change upon further reflection, and is probably not exhaustive and just approximative, but for now I think the following actions (or the policy equivalent):
- lying about one's lying policy
- lying in a way that affects me negatively, and that wasn't made explicit it was part of one's lying policy
- stealing
- some threshold of breaking boundaries
- some threshold of jeopardizing my life
- affecting my other friends in similar ways
it's hard to fully operationalize though. like borrowing 40$ without my explicit consent and then reporting doing that is okay. and it's not binary, it can be worse or better.
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