You’re struggling to make the change because the old behavior is still meeting a need.
Instead of shaming yourself, identify the deeper need and allow it to exist.
Then get curious about a new way to meet it.
The older I get, the more I realize that time doesn’t heal all wounds. There will be things in life that will always hurt or be tender. I am releasing the idea that I must get over things to find happiness. I can be happy and still have some things in my life that hurt.