I feel vulnerable at night
and can't stop the tears
nothing to distract my mind.
I want to end it all when everyone is sleeping.
However, the quiet speaks to me.
It listens when no one else does,
it hears my problems and cries with me.
Night brings out the best and worst in me.
It makes me want to die in silence when I'm alone.
It makes me want to change.
It makes me want to run away so no one can see me like this.
Tears never end.
Heaven is where I wanna be sent.
I'm so tired of living.
But the night wants me to go on; it wants me to want to live
because the night knows what loneliness feels like.
It offered me friendship when no one else did.
The night is old me.
Night is my old self begging me to be someone
To do something special
Night loves me no matter what.
The night is pleading for me to keep living and make my parents proud.
Night wants to be happy because it never was.
Dreams
Dreams are a magical thing.
Dreams are the things you wish you had or did,
My dreams are so vivid.
I wish they were real,
My dreams steal.
They steal my heart from the latter,
Then give it back to me.
When I wake up, I lose my heart,
Waking up is the hardest part.
I say I want nothing,
But my dreams know I'm lying.
My dreams show what I want instead,
In my dreams, I am dead
Ladder
Emotionless and empty,
That is how I feel.
Nothing inside me is real.
I am falling down a rabbit hole in unending sorrow,
Wishing I wouldn't wake up tomorrow.
I feel nothing and everything at the same time.
Life is a long ladder I must climb,
The steps keep breaking under my feet,
I keep falling down.
I don't want to get back up anymore.
Life is a chore.
I pick up the broken wood and glue it back together,
The wood gets weaker every time.
I must be a mime, and no one listens to what I'm saying.
I keep asking for someone to help me,
I give my heart away for free,
Now it's gone.
The steps lead my heart back.
I lost myself when you left.
Please get back to me and don't leave me alone.
You left when I was ten,
I won't care about anything again.
I smashed the ladder to pieces,
I don't want to trust again.
I smashed that ladder; now all love is gone.
One more time, I'll snap in two,
Please don't tell me you'll leave too.
Beautiful
You are beautiful.
You are grateful.
You are alive and full of spirit,
Negative thoughts—you cannot hear them.
You fell and broke,
But a new you then awoke.
You walked out imperfect and scarred.
You were no longer afraid of who you are.
You learned to make pain into beauty;
You now understand how to truly love yourself fully.
Harmony
Harmony is a beautiful thing;
It inspires our hearts to sing.
Harmony surrounds us everywhere,
In the earth and the air.
Breathing it in brings joy and light;
It lifts us, taking our worries out of sight.
Suffering and pain dissolve away;
Leaving us feeling renewed each day.
Die
I love, I hate,
No one can escape their fate.
Every life is destined to end,
Death is always around the bend.
When your time ends will be a surprise,
Time is something you will learn to despise.
You will watch the clock tick,
Time will make you sick.
You will be waiting,
Contemplating.
You will die,
It's a matter of time.
Final Goodbye
This poem is my final goodbye,
No, I will not die.
My mind is now gone,
My happiness I have pawned.
It went to all my "friends."
They never gave a damn,
About me or who I am.
The new me is what you'll get instead,
The old me they left for dead.
Books
Books hold a power I can't explain,
Books ease away all my pain.
I escape into a new dimension,
my suffering I never have to mention.
The emotions they stir in me are unreal,
I'm a mouse running on a wheel.
Without books, my mind goes wild,
My screams are like a lost child.
Tears Beneath the Tide
In the depths of shadowed seas,
Where sunlight dares not tread,
I drift amid the silent waves,
In a world painted in dread.
Tears mix with the ocean's salt,
A tide that pulls me down,
Each thought a weight upon my chest,
In sorrow's sea, I drown.
Yet even in this watery grave,
Glimmer fights to rise,
A hope that whispers through the dark,
That light will pierce the skies.
Paws in the Heart
In fields where you would frolic,
Beneath the open sky,
I see your joyful spirit,
In every cloud that drifts by.
Your paws danced through the meadows,
With boundless, happy glee,
The wagging tail, a rhythm,
Of love you gave to me.
Now the house feels a bit quieter,
Yet echoes with your play,
In every corner, a memory,
Of brighter, joyful days.
Though tears may fall in silence,
Your love will always stay,
For every bark and nuzzle,
Lives on in hearts each day.
Unnamed
In the depths where shadows creep,
A sea of sorrow, vast and deep.
Waves of doubt crash without end,
In this ocean, I pretend.
The light above is out of sight,
In the darkness, lost, I face the night.
Hope fades like a distant dream,
In this silence, I want to scream.
Adrift in waters cold and wide,
There is no guiding star, no place to hide.
In this abyss, I float alone,
A heart of stone, a world unknown.
Betrayal's Bitter Echoes
You always said goodbyes were just words, but you left without a single one. You walked out so easily, leaving me to wonder what went wrong. Leaving me behind. And now, you dare to cry? Those tears are your own doing. Every consequence you face was invited by you.
You deserted your family, chasing a new life built on lies. But when she discovers the truth, she'll leave you too. I can't wait to watch it all fall apart. You may have left me, but you won't escape the storm you created.
(Just to clarify this is about my biological dad)
Pretty Little Thing
Pretty little girl why do you weep?
You weep until you sleep.
Why are you so mad?
Why are you like this?
Pretty little Girl why do you want to die?
Why don't you try?
Why do you lie in bed and cry?
Pretty Little Girl
why don't you tell anyone?
Pretty Little Girl where have you gone?
We bury your kind soul and weep.
Pretty Little Girl why didn't we realize how much you have tried?
Pretty Little Girl we're sorry we could get to you in time
for that Pretty Little Girl inside to survive.
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