I remember when everything started to really shift. It was a few weeks past you moving in where you were on the cusp of feeling fully settled in with everyone from family, business, etc. I suggested we take a week off of having our Operations Pod meeting to further support you having this final week you said you needed to feel a step ahead. Unfortunately the coherence of our container from which we had been building as the OP Pod shifted ever since. This tied into the realization that you and LA were working together a-lot outside of our container and building momentum and coherence with no real feedback loop to me, therefore lack of transparency and lack of integration began to fragment the coherence building that had been taking place for the last 6-7 months.
At this point, to me everything I have shared above feels like the same patterns that we have brought awareness to that live at the core of Atlan, which seem to now be expressing itself through you and with others as you navigate the field from this place. I believe exactly what took place between you and LA these last few months is what exactly the pattern that played happened between La and Norm - and how that played out over several years. I also see how this is a pattern La has had over the years since starting the project has been apart of why people have felt this underlining power dynamic with her and Norm. I personally believe La has been in full control and power of the field this whole time.
While I could have stayed and continued to pursue trying to get the group to stay the course of renewal, it felt like due to the redirection of energy that took place, the lack of real willingness to evolve the group dynamics and take self responsibility, and the magnetism of everyones personal desires/ agendas would just continue to impose on the capacity of the field and take over just as it has been. On top of the fact that after getting to know everyone more deeply I began to realize a deep sense of resonance lacking around core values and self serving agendas inter-twined with character traits where words and actions continued to not match up. This eventually ended up feeling like a dead end that I was not willing to try and fight up against. From this place of awareness it became apparent that pursuing my relationship with Atlan was no longer in alignment for me to be giving my time and energy to, and therefore not the highest timeline for me to continue choosing.
I understand it was perhaps too much for you to know that I was still in the exploration mode due to so many factors that are completely understandable, however its unfortunate that you couldn't find compassion for this delicate process instead went on about it the ways you did which ended up creating more of an emphasis for me to resign.
As we know there are always gems that come out of these types of experiences for all involved and am choosing to focus on them as I integrate and carry on my path forward in a different timeline. I wish you well on your journey with Atlan I hope you to can find the gems from all of this. Know that while it was important for me to get this out and its focused on what I felt was important to clear, I want to close by honoring the side of our connection that was so beautiful and emanated incredible potential which I know we both genuinely had the opportunity to feel into. I leave you with my blessing and the invitation to respond in in way you wish to close this chapter out.
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