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Reflect on contextRecognize moods, emotions, values, and goals Understand emotional makeupSpecificTimelySafety in contextEqual in conversation
Clarity: A key communication skill as a leader is being able to deliver a clear and concise message. Clearly communicating a goal or task to your team helps processes run more smoothly (Judson Group, 2018).Personalization: Speaking to people on a more personal level will help inspire them and get them to buy in to your message. Speaking to people directly makes them feel important and acknowledged (Judson Group ,2018).Listening: Listening is an important part of any conversation. As a leader, it is important to listen to what your team or an individual is saying but also to what they are not saying (Prossack, 2018).Feedback: Leaders may need to provide negative feedback to people, which can sometimes be difficult. However, another important part of becoming a leader who communicates effectively is asking for feedback from others (Judson Group, 2018).Inspiration: Part of effective communication as a leader is being able to inspire those around you. Focusing on inspiring others will help you frame your conversations and deliver them in an effective way (Judson Group, 2018).Transparency: Transparency allows trust to be built between a leader and their team. Being authentic in the way that you communicate and share knowledge makes it easier for your team to rely on you and respect you (Judson Group, 2018).
Pacing: Pacing in a conversation requires you to focus on listening and letting others share their ideas and input first. This technique enables people to feel understood (Boyd, 2014).Leading: For leading to occur in a conversation you have to share your ideas and ask questions to get the other person out of their comfort zone and into a critical-thinking mindset (Boyd, 2014).Asserting: This occurs when there is a high level of advocacy but a low level of inquiry. This is often demonstrated in presentations or lectures where a person is sharing information.Influencing or consulting: This is when both inquiry and advocacy are high in the dialogue and is characterized by a lot of back and forth dialogue in the conversation.Observing: Observing is when both inquiry and advocacy are low, which manifests as disengagement and passive participation in a conversation. Listening: When advocacy is low and inquiry is high you are listening. Listening involves actively seeking information and input from the conversation.
How to approach and conduct difficult conversation
It is hard to give feedback to someone who might not be ready to hear it. These situations require courage and influencing skills because they may lead to uncomfortable or difficult, but necessary, conversations.
Preparation for a difficult conversation
Good feedback
Communication
Communication is a core function of leadership. Being an effective communicator involves paying attention to your environment and who you are communicating with, as well as having an acute awareness of how your words will be received (Myatt, 2012).
The following are some communication qualities that will help you develop effective communication and leadership skills:
Some practical suggestions
Pacing and leading
(Not for exchange of information casually but a tactics that used to achieve predetermined goals by the speaker)
Pacing and leading is a neurolinguistic programming technique developed in the 1970s by psychologists Richard Bandler and John Grinder. It is a psychological model that considers how to increase the probability of persuading and influencing others (Miller, 2013).
Remaining agile
It is important to remain agile when you are conducting a conversation. Oscillating between being an active listener and providing useful input helps frame an influential conversation (Golsby-Smith, 2011). Agility can also refer to changing the manner or forum in which you deliver your communication, such as making time for more one-on-one conversations instead of relying too much on addressing a group (Bate, 2006).
Balancing inquiry and advocacy
Inquiry and advocacy are different positions you can take when approaching a conversation. If you are communicating from a place of inquiry, you are open-minded, curious, and undecided on a particular position (Gomez, 2019). An inquiry orientation can work well in times of uncertainty because it focuses on asking questions and listening (Guthridge, 2018).
Advocacy is a communication style that you can use when you are certain about your position. People with an advocacy orientation are passionate and confident (Gomez, 2019). It is important to be conscious of balancing your use of inquiry or advocacy and be willing to move out of your comfort zone and experiment with your least preferred orientation (Guthridge, 2018).
Framing and anchoring
The framing and anchoring approach in negotiation can apply to influence as well. By taking note of how you frame feedback or provide insight you are contributing to the way that it is received. Anchoring can work in a situation where you want to provide the starting point of the conversation and allow others to build on from there.
Paying attention to language
Leaders need to choose their words carefully, since a poor choice of words can have a surprisingly significant impact on people or organizations.
Storytelling
Storytelling is a technique that leaders sometimes use to influence others. Using personal stories in a thoughtful manner can both convey your character and support the overarching message you wish to convey (Choy, 2018).
Conversation with women
Definition:
The double bind is an emotionally distressing instance where an individual is confronted with conflicting notions of how to behave or communicate in a situation at a subconscious level (Turner, 2017). Sometimes this conflict results from the desire to conform to societal norms such as gender norms, which are often quite ingrained in the way people behave and view others. For example, in a leadership position, a woman might speak in a way that is perceived as feminine, which may result in her being talked over and her views overlooked. However, if she chooses to adopt what is seen as a more masculine approach to communication, stereotypically more assertive, she may be viewed as abrasive and too domineering. In either case, she is unlikely to get the support she seeks within her organizational context.
Resources
Referrences
Bate, S. 2006. Agility and effective communication. Available: [2019, May 28].
Boyd, C. 2014. The structure of an influential conversation. [Video file] Available: [2019, May 21].
Choy, E. 2018. How two leaders use hidden storytelling techniques to inform and influence. Forbes. 2 December. Available: [2019, May 21].
Conant, D. 2013. Leaders, choose your words wisely. Available: [2019, May 21].
Golsby-Smith, T. 2011. Learn to speak the three languages of leadership. Available: [2019, May 21].
Gomez, S. 2019. The inquiry-advocacy matrix: The secret to more effective communication at work. Available: [2019, May 21].
Guthridge, L. 2018. How to be more comfortable with inquiry and advocacy. Forbes. 17 May. Available: [2019, May 21].
Judson Group. 2018. The role of communication in leadership.
Miller, M. 2013. How to persuade anyone using pacing and leading. Available: [2019, May 21].
Musselwhite, C. & Ploufee, T. 2012. What’s your influencing style? Available: [2019, June 6].
Myatt, M. 2012. 10 Communication secrets of great leaders. Forbes. 4 April. Available: [2019, May 28].
Prossack, A. 2018. These six communication styles should be in every leader’s toolbox. Forbes. 31 July. Available: [2019, May 28].
Turner, C. 2017. Obstacles for women in business: the double bind. Available: [2019, June 24].
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